Don't Look At Me!
by Lunara Dragon
Summary: Set during ep Black as Cole. When Leo is left at the Manor with Cole and the Robotic Baby. What happens when Cole gives in from boredom and decides to help Leo take care of the wailing robo-kid. I suck at summaries Just a oneshot humor fic.


-1Don't Look At Me!  
By: Dragonstar/ Lunara Dragon

Author's Note: First off I do not own Charmed or any of the characters. This just popped in to my head while I was writing my fan fiction **A Half-Breed's Redemption** which is a fan fiction about Cole finding redemption. That's beside the point but whether you have read it or not this is a scene that I thought would be humorous. It is about Leo and Cole trying to take care of the robotic baby Paige brought home. I just thought it would be a fun one-shot to take a break from my other fan fiction ;). So on to the story!

**Enter Halliwell Manor **

Paige and Piper were downstairs standing in the living room arguing over what Paige had brought home from her job. The newest Charmed Sister was a social worker and borrowed an animatronics baby from the clinic when she found out that her oldest sister and brother-in-law, Piper and Leo, were debating about whether they were ready to have children or not.

"You told me to pick one up if I could." Paige argued as Cole and Phoebe came walking down the stairs, both with confused expressions worn on their faces. Piper stared at her youngest sister and shook her head.

"I didn't actually think you could!" She argued back with frustration as she turned to face the new comers in to the room.

"What's going on?" Phoebe asked as her and Cole stepped in to the living room. Cole kept his distance while taking moments to glance at the mechanic baby. Paige explained to Phoebe that she knew how Leo and Piper were talking about having kids and so she brought home the mechanic baby that they use at the clinic for parenting classes.

Phoebe smiled and cooed about how real it sounded when Piper returned back to the argument at hand. "And annoying. Look, Paige, I appreciate the thought, but we are on a demon hunt and the last thing I want to do is protect a fake baby." Paige protested as she threw the baby in to the air and Piper instinctively froze it.

The Charmed Ones along with their new ally Cole Turner, Phoebe's boyfriend, and their white lighter, Leo Wyatt were currently working to find the demon who was killing off a covenant of witches recently. The last thing Piper wanted to worry about right now was caring for a baby that wasn't real.

"Come on just try it. If it doesn't work I will take it back, I promise." Paige said as she moved her hand in to the movement of a scout's honor. As Piper unfroze the baby and was enwrapped by the middle sister's arms helping her to rock it.

"Phoebe. I know how to rock a baby that is not the issue! Thank you." Piper scolded with irritation as she gave a side glance to Phoebe that now stood behind her. Leo orbed in at that moment and reported another witch had been killed. He smiled at the baby his wife held in her arms and could not help but laugh aside from the situation at hand. He asked where she got it and Piper continued to report that Paige had brought it home.

Phoebe turned to Cole and said "No you can't come. Someone might recognize you from when you posed as a DA." Paige then continued to roll her eyes as she stared at Cole with shock.

"You were a demon and a lawyer." Cole nodded with confusion. "Insert joke here." Paige added to her comment. Phoebe and Paige turned leaving the room as Cole complained about not getting to go anywhere anymore. Piper smiled and handed Leo the baby.

"Yeah daddy. Figure it out! Excuse me." Piper said dripping with sarcasm as she quickly scurried out of the room to follow her sisters. They were going to the crime scene courtesy of their best friend and cop Darryl Morris to see what they could find out about the witch that was murdered. That left Leo and Cole alone at the Manor.

Leo looked down at the mechanical baby that had stopped crying for the moment then walked over and looked at Cole with a slight hesitation as the taller man ran a hand through his dark hair, and his green eyes glanced down with an awkward gaze down at the baby. Cole then shook his head and grimaced.

"Don't look at me." Cole then commented before walking out of the room and walking up the stairs heading towards the room he shared with his girlfriend, Phoebe.

Once upstairs Cole plopped back on to Phoebe's bed and stared up at the ceiling letting out a deep breath. He would give anything to be able to shimmer out of the manor and find something to do; but the love of his life needed him here and so he was cooped up in the Manor. He began rolling thoughts around in his head about the earlier conversation he had with Phoebe about marriage. Cole knew in the depth's of his mortal soul that he wanted to marry her but she seemed hesitant and he could not understand why.

The thoughts soon seemed to take on a life of their own and torment Cole with many reasons why he did not deserve the love he had or this new life he was building. But being the stubborn half-demon that he was he refused to let those thoughts in to his head for to long as he pushed them in to the darkest part of his mind's eye, battling them out of his head. He had to find something to occupy himself while the girls were with Darryl and investigating. Cole was soon broken out of his reverie by the same crying that brought him and Phoebe out of their conversation earlier.

"What the hell is it now?" Cole muttered to himself as he stood and headed back to the stairs. He stood at the top for a moment and listened to Leo and the hellion of a robotic baby downstairs.

Leo paced around the downstairs as he glanced up and debated about asking Cole for help. The baby had started crying again and the White lighter had tried rocking it and walking with it. Bouncing it and hugging it, but to each no avail. The baby continued to wail loudly with it's cries as he turned to hear weight shifting slowly on the steps. His blue eyes filled with surprise when Cole walked slowly back down the stairs.

"Can't you shut that thing up?" Cole questioned with annoyance. He finally reached the bottom and now stood in front of Leo as he stared down at the baby in his arms.

"Obviously not. I don't know what's wrong I did what Paige said and tried rocking it like a real baby." Leo shot back to Cole. Cole rolled his eyes as he glanced around the down stairs and saw Paige's work bag. "Why don't you try." Leo then insisted.

"Yeah right. Belthazor, better known as Cole Turner doubling as Mr. Mom that would work out great." Cole muttered in response before walking away and heading towards the kitchen. But he finally shot back over his shoulder to Leo "Check Paige's bag, somehow I doubt she wants me going through it. But usually those things come with a bottle or something if it is for parenting classes."

With that Cole continued in to the kitchen to find something to occupy himself. He opened the fridge and pulled out a water, twisting off the cap and throwing it in to the trash while allowing the cool liquid to run in to his mouth and quench his thirst.

Leo raided Paige's bag, all the while mentally chastising himself for invading her personal belongings. But the baby still continued to wail and he had to prove to Piper that they could have a baby and make it work. He wanted more then anything else to take their marriage to the next level, which meant starting a family.

"Cole there is nothing in here!" Leo yelled to the other man in the house. Finally Leo pulled out what appeared to be the fake bottles that came with baby dolls but it had a small sensor in the tip. He tried placing it up to the baby but it still continued to wail.

Cole rolled his eyes and punched the wall lightly. This was going on far to long and the half-demon was now being driven mad by the siren like wails of the robotic spawn. "I am never having kids!" He muttered to himself before turning with frustration and walking back in to the room where Leo now sat with a look of defeat.

"What's the matter guardian angel? Can't you even care for one child? It's not even real!" Cole yelled in frustration as he entered to sit beside Leo and the baby he still held in his arms. Cole reached out and took the thing from his grasp with anger as his temper continued to rise.

"Oh and I suppose a Demon can do so much better?" Leo yelled back letting his own temper slip. Cole fought the urge to throw the baby in the air and release an energy ball at the cause of his annoyance. Instead he tried to think of something else as he turned to Leo with a look of sheer disgust now crossing his facial expression.

Blue eyes locked with green as they both turned back to the baby Cole held directly in front of him. "Paige did say it is a lifelike one right?" Cole questioned with a slight fear in his voice. Leo nodded to confirm that it was true.

"Great! How the hell did we get stuck with diaper duty?" Cole questioned to Leo before placing the mechanical infant back between them then standing and walking to Paige's bag. Finally giving in to the hesitation he felt earlier from going through the witch lighter's work bag he dug in deeper and found a few diapers that had tiny sensors on them. Cole stood with more annoyance then before and he walked back in to the living room and tossed the diaper to Leo.

Leo turned and looked at him. "Why don't you do it?" Leo questioned with annoyance of his own starting to show.

Cole shook his head and responded "Um because last time I checked. You are the one that wants to play Dad. Not me." Leo finally gave in and nodded in compliance while pulling the infant closer on the couch and began the process of changing the diaper. It only had a wetness which was expected since the bottle just seemed to be filled with water. But Leo still did not like the feeling of the wet diaper. As soon as he was done he tossed the wet diaper back at Cole to try and pry at the other man's nerves even more.

Cole caught the wet wad out of habit and looked down at it with even more disgust. "I'll remember this white lighter! You always were disgusting creatures." Cole muttered but then glanced back up with an apologetic look when he said the last part. "Sorry old habits and feelings. You understand Leo."

Leo just nodded his head and shrugged but allowed his face to show a look of delight as he glanced down. The baby had stopped crying and now remained silent as Leo picked it up and smiled with triumph. Cole could not help but look triumphant as well before turning towards the kitchen to carry the wet diaper away.

"Hey you really want to prove to Piper you can do this?" Cole finally questioned upon his return. Leo looked up and nodded his head yes.

"More then anything!" Leo responded with determination shining in his blue eyes. Cole smiled slightly at the shorter man's reaction. Another thought passed through his mind as he walked over taking the baby from Leo's arms and holding it out in front of him again.

"You are going to need a carrier you know, and maybe get at least a couple of other things just to show your dedication to what you want. You understand right?" Cole reported his idea out loud now as Leo scratched his head in some confusion.

"Yea but I still lack the major necessity to go and do that Cole. You know money?" Leo prodded with frustration growing again. He now subconsciously continued to rub his dark blonde hair and shook his head before looking back up to meet Cole's reaction. Cole handed the infant back to Leo before holding his hand out to Leo. Leo moved the infant to one arm and placed his other hesitantly in Cole's who rolled his eyes at Leo's confused look. Before he knew it they were being shimmered out of the room.

--

**San Francisco Macy's **

Leo looked at the store that now sat in front of them as they appeared at the side of the store where no on-lookers were present. He now was more confused then ever as he released Cole's hand and stared up at him with confusion written all over his stature.

"Listen I have plenty of money left just sitting there when I posed as a DA. Now that I live at the Manor what else am I going to do with it?" Cole replied as he motioned for Leo to lead the way in towards the front of the store. As the two men slowly walked to the front and through the entrance doors Leo still shook his head with some confusion.

"What?" Cole questioned feigning innocence. Leo just shrugged his shoulders while the baby started crying again. Leo began rocking it. Cole quickly took Leo by the arm as he dragged him with some slight force towards the general direction of where a sign visually announced to all customers where infant and toddler apparel was.

"Ouch Cole. What the hell?" Leo questioned as he ripped his arm from the taller man's grip and glared at him. Cole waved his hand to the strange looks the two men with a mechanical infant were receiving.

"Apparently I did not think that all the way out." Cole muttered in response while he walked and quickly grabbed a blue strap on carrier for the parent's back, a car seat carrier, and a blanket.

"Look that's enough. Let's get out of here!" Cole yelled as his temper rose. People continued to stare and they received anything between looks of disgust to gazes of curiosity and some even appeared to be looking at them sympathetically. Leo wondered why they were receiving such strange looks as they headed to the check out and Cole pulled out his wallet and debit card to pay.

"Ok Mr. Turner I need to see some form of ID" The cashier, Raye as her name tag read, reported with courtesy. Cole forced a smile for the cashier as he showed her his I.D. and turned to Leo that now held an infant that was now wailing again.

"Will you shut that thing up." Cole muttered to Leo who looked at him and shrugged.

"Well we left the bottle and everything at the house. Unless you can magically turn it off no I can't!" Leo raised his voice in answering Cole. The cashier looked oddly between the two as she nodded her head proudly.

"You know that is so sweet what you two are doing. I strongly believe even gay couples can raise a child lovingly and you two seem to be testing out that idea I see." Raye reported with a southern accent as she smiled sweetly and sincerely at them. Cole looked back at her shaking his head and anger filling his face while Leo was the opposite, flushing with embarrassment and looking between her and the infant.

"It's not like that. My wife and I are thinking about it really. Cole is just my friend." Leo quickly explained. Cole grabbed the bag of stuff as he headed towards the exit refusing to answer the cashier any further or wait for Leo and the robot he held.

"Um Cole, that was strange…I" Leo began but then froze as the two ducked back to where they had shimmered in at. Leo heard the jingling and sensed Piper calling. Cole shrugged and quickly grabbed the carrier out of the bag.

"Put this on and put that thing in it!" Cole hissed out as he struggled to help Leo put the dang carrier thing on him to transport the baby in. Leo smiled and nodded his head before Cole took the animatronics infant and placed it in the carrier.

"Thanks Cole. Really it means a lot to me." Leo reported before looking around and orbing out.

"Whatever. I just wanted as many ways possible to shut that thing the hell up!" Cole muttered to himself as Leo was already gone before he himself shimmered back to the manor.

--

**Stanley Arboreta **

Leo arrived in magical blue-white lights and saw Paige, Piper, Phoebe, and another witch he assumed they had met at the crime scene were standing by an opening in the trees at the park referred to as Stanley Arboreta. Leo smiled as Piper reported their plan and asked him to orb Susan someplace safe. So that was the new witch's name.

"Alright. Take my hand" Leo responded as he held his hand out to Susan who obliges being familiar with the role of a White lighter. She turns back to the sisters who are questioning about a baby. Leo turns to reveal the baby in the carrier Cole had bought and smiles "See we can do this." He reports.

"Alright drop Robo-kid off at the manor before you go to Paige's old loft. Please? Thank you." Piper demands while rolling her eyes at her husband's enthusiasm and does not wait for his answer. Leo just nods quickly before orbing out with Susan and the infant.

--

**Halliwell Manor**

Cole sat in the sun room as he began to flip through a magazine he had found by Piper's cook books in the kitchen. He had helped Leo with the robotic baby from hell and he had not realized it at the time, But Cole actually enjoyed helping Leo with that thing because it beat just sitting around the manor and getting lost in his own thoughts. It was also better then trying to outrun pesky bounty hunters any day. Now he read some article about up and coming musical artists. He assumed Piper had it because of her club but didn't really care to think on it to much.

"This is stupid. What the hell? I should be out there helping them to. Not stuck here while the White lighter gets to have fun with the sisters." Cole muttered out loud to himself again. He had been doing that a lot lately. As soon as he threw the magazine on to the seat beside him Leo appeared in his usual fashion but had a woman Cole did not recognize with him.

"What is it?" Cole said as he stood with alarm. He knew it they did need his help after all. Leo smiled at Cole sheepishly and turned to Susan.

"Susan before I take you to the Loft, I need to drop this off. Susan this is Cole, Cole this is Susan." Leo responded with his sheepish grin still on his face and a mischievous glint now danced in his eyes. Susan smiled and shook Cole's hand before nodding to Leo.

"Great and here I thought something was wrong." Cole retorted and sat back down. Leo nodded his head again and pulled the back carrier off with the infant inside of it.

"There is. I need to take Susan some place safe she is one of the witches from the Covenant that's being targeted." Leo began while walking around the couch to stand in front of Cole who stared up at him with a slight glare. "Piper told me to drop this off here. So if you really want to help me…" Leo said then paused letting it sink in.

"I said if before, I'll say it again. Don't look at me. Umm NO!" Cole answered quickly not needing time to think about where Leo's thought patterns were heading.

"Cole come on! You said you wanted to help me prove to Piper we can have kids so why not?" Leo yelled back.

"No correction. I said I didn't mind helping you by buying you shit! I am NOT a built in baby-sitter for Robo-spawn." Cole shot back as he once again lost his temper and stood. Susan looked between the two men with confusion before shaking her head as well and glancing with nervousness filling up around her. She was unsure how to react to the two men arguing about the robotic infant.

"To bad. You are!" Leo shot back quickly. He pushed the baby in to Cole's arms before running and grabbing Susan. "Bye!" He yelled quickly while orbing out before Cole could respond. Cole looked down at the robotic infant with sheer disgust as his green eyes seemed to literally pierce in to the infant, as it's shrill cry once again erupted in to the silent room. Cole was ready to try and follow Leo's orbing trail but realized why he left so quickly. Cole still had to stay at the Manor for when the Charmed Sisters returned.

"Great! How the hell did I become daddy? I didn't want a kid. I'm not even sure I'll ever be married!" Cole yelled out in to the empty Manor before he began to rock the baby, but it was not in a gentle manor as he rocked it with force. Finally he grabbed it's bottle and shoved it down by it's mouth. The sensors connected and the thing stopped wailing. Cole without realizing it smiled with triumph and walked over placing it in to the other seat carrier he had bought.

**The End-**

End Note: We obviously know in the end baby-sitter Cole nor Leo could not protect it when the other demon attacked. But I thought this was a humorous idea since Cole and Leo were left alone at the Manor for quite some time and in Season 3 we learned Leo doesn't have any money. So how did he get the carrier? This was just my idea of how he got it. Then when Leo had to take it back to the manor before taking Susan to the loft, that meant Cole was stuck with it. ;)


End file.
